Okay, Let’s just say it: finding space for yourself as a mom can feel impossiblesometimes. And even when you do carve out a moment, the guilt creeps in—like you’re doing something wrong by taking care of yourself.
But here’s what I’ve learned (and am still learning): creating space for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s survival. It’s sanity. It’s setting the example that moms matter too.
So if you’ve been putting yourself on the back burner, here’s how I’ve started making space for myself—and doing it without the guilt.
1. I stopped waiting for permission
No one is going to hand you a “self-care hour” wrapped in a bow. I used to wait for the perfect time—after the kids were asleep, after the house was clean, after everyone else’s needs were met.
Now? I take the moment when it comes. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s five minutes. I stopped waiting for someone to tell me it’s okay to rest, to breathe, to just be. I decided Iget to give myself permission.
2. I redefined what “space” means
Space doesn’t have to be a full day away (although wouldn’t that be dreamy?). Sometimes it’s:
- Drinking my coffee while it’s still hot
- Locking the bathroom door and scrolling in silence
- Journaling one thought during nap time
- Sitting in the car for an extra 3 minutes before going inside
Tiny moments still count. That little bit of breathing room adds up.
3. I started naming my needs out loud
I used to hint. I used to hope my partner or someone else would just know I needed a break. Now I say it plainly:
“I need 20 minutes alone today.”
“I need to get out of the house, even if it’s just to drive around.”
And if no one’s available to help? I do what I can to still meet myself halfway. Sometimes that looks like screen time for the kids so I can breathe. And you know what? That’s okay.
4. I stopped tying my worth to how much I do
I used to wear busyness like a badge of honor. If I was exhausted, it meant I was doing a good job… right?
Nope. That mindset left me burned out and bitter. Now, I remind myself daily: I don’t have to earn rest. I don’t have to do it all to be a good mom. My kids don’t need a perfect mom—they need a present one. And I can’t be present if I’m constantly drained.
5. I remind myself: my kids are watching
When I show them that I care about myself, they learn that they’re allowed to care about themselves too. That it’s normal to ask for space. To rest. To say “I need a break.” I want them to grow up knowing that moms aren’t machines—we’re humans, with needs, dreams, and limits too.
Let this be your reminder:
You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to be more than a mom—you’re allowed to be you.
And if you need someone to say it out loud for you today: I hope you carve out a little bit of space, guilt-free. Not because you earned it. But because you deserve it.
Tell me below or on Instagram [@OhForMothersSake]—what’s one small way you’re creating space for yourself this week?
I’ll be over here cheering you on.
Through the messy and the magical,
Tiffany